There’s no worse feeling than the crushing disappointment one feels after not living up to one’s expectations. Everybody sets a certain standard for themselves. Be it achievable or not, we often feel like failures when those standards aren’t met. This is quite common in today’s generation, where people are always striving to be the best. There’s too much competition and very little relief. 

Disappointment can directly hurt your mental health. It can lead to many long-term issues like anxiety and depression. Sometimes it’s the tip of the iceberg that leads to many mental health issues. It can affect the relationships around you and can even reduce your productivity. 

Generally, there are many reasons for feeling disappointed in life. We need to address them and learn how to cope with them. In this article, we’ll let you know all about the feelings of disappointment and how you can learn to cope with them. 

Causes of self-disappointment

  • Unrealistic expectations: Disappointment is the feeling of loss and sadness one feels tinged with grief when one’s expectations aren’t met. Having too high standards is bound to set you up for failure. It is important to reach for goals that are achievable and relevant or you’ll just be wasting time running after things that aren’t meant for you. 
  • Comparison with others: Everybody is born on this earth to walk a different path that’s never similar to the one you’re on. You’ll always be at a different pace from others so comparing yourself to them would be a waste. It will only aggravate your anxiety and make you feel more anxious and stressed. Comparing yourself to them would set you up for disappointment because you’ll never be going for the same things. It takes a toll on your self-esteem and leads to many mental health issues. 
  • Fear of failure and perfectionism: When we set goals for ourselves, it is often fear that holds us back from diving into our complete potential. The fear of failure and feelings of inferiority can us to strive for perfection. Trying to achieve the impossible will set us up for failure which will keep us within the vicious cycle of self-disappointment. It is important to be real with ourselves and keep a stronghold of our feelings. 

Negative impact of self-disappointment

  • Mental health concerns: Self-disappointment has a direct impact on our self-esteem. The thought that we couldn’t accomplish the things we wanted to, takes a toll on our confidence. We start doubting ourselves and our potential. Suddenly we don’t know if we can do the simplest of things. Our mind starts going into overdrive and we’re unable to process any success we might have gained during that time. People usually develop anxiety and depression when that happens. With low self-esteem, we don’t recognize our self-worth which can lead to a whole new window of mental health issues. 
  • Relationship strain: Self-disappointment can also grow feelings of inferiority within individuals. In order to compensate for them without processing them, people can project negative feelings onto others. This puts a lot of strain on relationships as it is always important to process such feelings of self-worth before treating someone else with love. During these times, many individuals go through divorces, cheating, and breakups. 
  • Loss of motivation: Sellf-disappointment can lead to feelings of failure. We’re unable to pursue any of our goals. We start doubting our abilities due to which we start avoiding anything that can put us on the track towards achieving our goals. We aren’t motivated to do anything which makes us standstill in this world. 

Effective ways to cope with self-disappointment

Accept your feelings

Swiping things under the rug and suppressing our emotions will make things harder for us. Our negative feelings will manifest in uncontrollable ways. It is crucial to accept ourselves and acknowledge our feelings. Validate your emotions instead of hiding them. Once you accept them, you can move forward to work on them. There are many mindful activities you can do to process such emotions. Meditation is found to be extremely effective at clearing your mind and helping you focus on things that are important in your life. Take a step back and reflect on your feelings. You can also do some journalling where you can write anything you want. It can be your suppressed feelings or a whole new world of possibilities!

Self-compassion

When you’re at your lowest, the most important person that needs you is you. You are the one who’s going to pick up your pieces. Positive self-talk has life-changing effects on your mental health. Saying good things to yourself is important because your inner child is always listening and believing. Love yourself so you can give yourself everything you deserve. 

Reframing

One of the most famous techniques in Cognitive behavioral therapy is reframing your thoughts in a positive way. Disappointment can be a learning opportunity for you. If you couldn’t get that job, maybe it wasn’t good for you. If you didn’t get good grades, it’s okay, you can study harder next time. If you couldn’t make a relationship work, contemplate things you could have done right. It’s an opportunity to reflect and change for the better. Don’t let that disappointment bring you down. It’s all about how you look at things from a different perspective. 

Seek support from others.

It’s okay to seek the advice of others. A trusted social circle is one of the biggest blessings. A support system is extremely important for people with mental health issues. It might even get them out of bed every day. You can take the advice of others and reflect on your life. 

Conclusion

Don’t let self-disappointment lead you toward a self-deprecating path. It’s just a speck in the grand scheme of things and certainly won’t matter in the next few years. At the end of the day, you are your knight in shining armor. Be good to yourself and others, it’s all going to be alright!

You won’t always get what you want, so make peace with what you already have.  

God bless

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