Has the self-hate and feelings of unworthiness gotten to you lately? In a competitive world like ours, societal pressures and personal setbacks are among the top reasons for such feelings. They can lead to deep-sated mental health issues that can often sabotage our plans. It is quite common for people to have such feelings at least once in their lives.

We live in a world that expects too much of us and gives very little in return. The challenges and complexities of life have led us to internalize all our failures. This eventually leads to low esteem and doubting our worth. If you ever feel this way, don’t be dejected. Stand up and add value to your life.

In this article, we’ll explore the usual causes of feelings of unworthiness and the ways in which one can cope with them.

Understanding why we feel unworthy

  • Negative self-talk and comparison

In our digitalized world were posting on social media has become the norm, it is inevitable for insecurities and comparisons to build up. We’re looking at others’ luxurious lives and wondering why we aren’t living the same ones. It is natural to compare yourselves to them and for self-criticism to take root. This can often trigger feelings of inadequacy which can bring up the question of worthiness. 

As you get exposed to such content, the negative self-talk begins. The negative self-talk has an unimaginable effect on your inner child. Each insult or criticism is absorbed and believed by them. Therefore, it is important to show yourself some love and affection while going through tough times.

  • Lack of purpose and direction

Oftentimes when we don’t have a clear path ahead of us and we fail to accomplish our goals, feelings of unworthiness can be triggered. We become lost and there’s no sense of direction that can lead us towards success. This makes us question our value and make sense of the world around us. 

  • Past trauma and Perfectionism

Childhood traumas play an important role in molding us to be a certain version of ourselves. Insecurities are developed and feelings of inferiority take root. This leads to traits like perfectionism to form within us. When we set high expectations for ourselves and aren’t able to reach them, we begin feeling worthless and weak. 

Common signs of feeling unworthy

  • Low self-esteem: One of the biggest signs of unworthy feelings is low self-esteem. Sometimes we’re going through struggles in our lives that have quite a negative effect on our self-esteem. We suddenly feel like we aren’t capable of anything and can’t help but feel unworthy.

  • Social withdrawal:
    People going through something like this often don’t feel like engaging with others anymore. They stop attending social gatherings and prefer staying at home.

  • Difficulty accepting compliments:
    Feelings of inferiority stem from the belief that we are not worthy of love and affection. This is why it’s hard to believe any compliments given to us. This is especially for those compliments that are not on physical attributes and on things we’ve actually had something to do.

Strategies to overcome feelings of unworthiness

  • Challenge negative self-talk

There are a few strategies you can use to stop negative self-talk from running wild. Try cognitive restructuring, and confront your negative thoughts. Ask where it originated from. Is it based on reality or not?  This will help you challenge your inner critic and make sense of all that is real. This will help you dismantle the internalized thoughts and provide you with a sense of clarity. 

Take stock of your surroundings and see how much you’ve been blessed. Refocusing your attention on the unpleasant aspects of your life can be achieved by taking stock of the positive aspects. It may surprise you to learn that keeping a simple gratitude journal can have a big impact. It will help you ponder over things you are grateful for. 

  • Self-compassion and self-care

Treating yourself with the same consideration and understanding that you would extend to a friend, particularly during difficult times, is the practice of self-compassion. It can make you feel safer and more capable of handling difficulties. There are many ways you can feel self-compassion. 

The best way you can do this is by acknowledging your feelings. If you’re having a hard time, understand where it’s coming from. It is also important to be kind to yourself. Recognize your emotions and take care of them accordingly. You are only human and can make mistakes, never judge your worth on their basis. 

  • Set realistic goals

It is always important to set achievable goals to keep you motivated. If you set high goals, not being able to achieve them would make you internalize your failures. Set goals that you are able to accomplish in the first place. They will provide you with a sense of accomplishment, countering your negative feelings. It will give you a self-esteem boost as well. 

  • Take a social media break.

Consuming media at such a high rate has built up an unrealistic mindset within individuals. Influencers are showing a filtered version of their lives that often seems quite luxurious and lavish. It is important to do a social media detox so you can live in the moment. We are wasting precious moments of our lives scrolling through posts when we can do so much for ourselves in real life. This has made it possible for many to make sense of their lives and be in the present. It will also keep us away from constantly comparing our lives with others. 

Conclusion

Self-worth is an intrinsic belief that can be embraced through many different strategies like mindful practices, cognitive restructuring, positive relationships, and more. There are therapeutic ways to deal with low self-esteem issues like CBT which will help restructure our thoughts and challenge our negative beliefs. Feelings of unworthiness is a manageable experience that can be tackled with things many different techniques. You can even get a gratitude journal and write about everything you’re grateful for. 

God bless

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